Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Frustration

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I'm having kind of a frustrating week.

I won't go into all of it. Generally I have no issue with putting all my thoughts into the WWW, however there are some people involved that I know would have an issue with that. I will just say that Monday night I ended up crying through most of Gossip Girl and True Life and feeling like a huge jerk. I really don't feel like I'm in the wrong but I'm someone who feels guilty about pretty much everything so right now my heart just hurts with the amount of sadness and guilt I'm feeling. I hate it.

Then yesterday morning my financial aid adviser emailed me with all my financial aid awards right before our phone meeting. As I was looking through it I realized my loans would NOT cover my tuition. Which pretty much means I can't go to school. With me still being unemployed, Dustin and I are JUST making ends meet. So of course I started to freak out a little bit. Especially because this school is PERFECT. I'd be taking all my classes online, which would be amazing, especially if we do end up moving in the fall. However, somehow my admissions adviser must have read my mind because he called me to let me know I can apply for another loan that will cover the rest of my costs. THANK GOD. So I had my meeting with my financial aid adviser and then I had to have a meeting with my academic adviser, who was kind of a weirdo. But nonetheless, I am registered for classes and getting my aid squared away.

I really feel like I need another vacation. I think it's just coming back and having one stressful thing after another happening.

The GOOD thing is that I'm pretty sure Dustin and I are going to be looking into somewhere to live in or near Tampa! We decided if we were going to make the move we were going to really go for it. And we've heard pretty darn good things about the area! Right now we're looking into lots of apartments online and between now and the fall we're going to try to save up some money for the road trip we'll have to take in order to move. While a part of me is like, "Wait, no more MOA! Wait, no more drive in! Wait, no more autumn!" most of me is so ready and excited for the change!

Anyway, hopefully the rest of the week will be better. And I have classes to look forward to VERY SOON!


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32 wonderful thoughts:

Ang

Hey lady, I hope things turn around for you... guilt is never a good thing to feel! Try and brush it off, and at least move on a little bit.

btw - there is a drive-in by you? as in a movie theater? please tell me more.

Christina

I'm glad the school thing worked out for you!

Good luck to you in the Tampa apartment search!

Do you have an idea of where exactly in Tampa you want to live?

I do know that there are cute and lovely places in New Tampa and Hyde Park.

Helena - A Diary of Lovely

amazed by your almost decision, so impressed though!
Good luck with all!

Meghan

Aww! I hope this week gets better for you! I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason - and Tampa??? Hello, AMAZING!

Caro

Ohhh I wanna move in the sun too :(

charismagic

Glad it looks like school will work out... & hopefuly your week will get better x

Melissa

So sorry you're going through a hard time. I hope you feel better soon!

R.

Tampa as in Tampa, FL?! That's right in my neck of the woods! xo

Salt

I'm so happy that your financial aid is getting squared away. What a headache!

And CONGRATS on deciding to move and the upcoming apartment search! I'm so excited for you and jealous that you might be moving to Florida. I love Florida. :)

Kimbirdy

Oy, school loans! I know how stressful that can be. The good news is you can pretty much get all the loans you need in one way or another. Some people feel stressed about loans, but really, school loans are Totally worth it. So congrats on getting all that worked out!

And congrats on deciding to move!! I'm right there with you. Isn't change so exciting?!

daisychain

I hope the stressful times are over now x

likeagiraffe

congrats on deciding to make the move!!! how exciting. my boyfriend and i have been talking about moving from la to nyc... but actually DOING it? i don't think we've got the guts.

go you! hope your week lightens up a little. :/

Shana

Before my brain function ceased this morning and I became unable to write a coherent paragraph, I was planning to write a post about feeling guilty. The basic idea was that we all feel way too guilty over things that we can't control. I know it's easier said than done...believe me...but you shouldn't feel guilty over something that you didn't do. Hugs to you...I hope you start feeling better.

I'm glad the school stuff worked itself out. And I'm glad you guys decided to make the move. Change is always scary, but this is going to be so exciting for you.

Elizabeth

That is the scare of the century, being all geared up to go to school and having the rug pulled out from under you. Thank god it all worked out :)

Seasoned with Words

I have a good friend who lives in Tampa and loves it! She gets to go to all sorts of concerts. I'm so jealous because nobody ever comes to Tallahassee. Where were you going to go to school to? I was trying to find a grad school that I could take classes from online.

Mara

oh I hope your week turns around! School stuff is so scary..especially when it comes to affording it and getting loans.

Jennifer

Awe I hope things get better for you. I've had sort of a blah week too, but I think I might be pms-ing! :) Cheer up, girly, everything will work out the way it should!

live.work.design

i had my "bad day" yesterday. the next day is always so much better. hang in there!

Unknown Mami

Don't let the guilt get you down. It's not worth it. If you feel you did something wrong then make amends and try to change, otherwise do not beat yourself up. Try to treat yourself the way you would treat a really good friend. You wouldn't blame her and try to make her feel guilty.

gringationcancun

Glad things are working out with college and the big move!! Don't stress. It's exciting!!

Elle

Don't let guilt get you down or eat away at you. It takes more energy than it's worth sometimes, and if it's something that's beyond your control, it's best to let it go.

Financial aid can be such a darn pain!! Glad to hear it's working out. Good luck with your classes!

FLORIDA?! I'm so jealous! I can't wait to read about this fun and exciting new adventure for you and Dustin!

Kristin

Hey sweets, if you need any Tampa help, lemme know!

carissa @ lowercase letters

cheers to change! i know that everything will eventually work out for you guys!

Brittany Ann

Hang in there, my friend! These times are trying, but you'll get through them!

Then it sounds like we'll see you down here in sunny Florida! Yay!

Nicole

I know all about the guilt thing! Wrong or right I can't take the guilt I feel! I hate confronatation & I hate people being mad at me. But then I think hell people find it so easy to push me around and such. Why should I feel bad about anything!? Anyway hang in there lady :)

Eileen

hi - found you through Lady Bloggers tea party. I just had to comment to say that I've felt the same way lately ~ one stressful thing after another! I'd love a vacation... oh well.

Anyways in terms of your thoughts of moving, I'm really interested to read about this process. My husband and I are also midwesterners, thinking of moving on somewhere new. It's hard figuring out where to go though! Good luck with your search!

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com

Thank you for your kind comments on my SITS DAY!
Nice to meet you!:)

Debora Dennis

So glad you got your financial aid worked out! And wow a big move in the future, best of luck with that. It's an adventure, enjoy it! :)

missy.

" I really don't feel like I'm in the wrong but I'm someone who feels guilty about pretty much everything so right now my heart just hurts with the amount of sadness and guilt I'm feeling. I hate it."

i am exactly the same way! it's horrible.

i hope you get your fa stuff figured out! that is an awful feeling. it's a good thing my school lets me do payments. i'd be in a world of trouble if i had to do loans.. i am not a big fan of them.

Jaime @ La vie...J'aime

Sorry for the frustrating week... the good thing is, things can only get better! :)

Amanda

Ugh, that's not a fun feeling =/ Sorry hun!

WOOHOO about moving! I LOVE moving and new adventures!

Its almost the WEEEEEEKEND! Let the countdown begin!

itschaotic

glad you got things figured out with the school thing! It's definitely scary when loans don't cover anything.

And the MOA? well there's always online shopping! and Tampa has a big mall I believe as well. :)

good luck with everything!