Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Wedding Wednesday ~ The Facts

1. how it all began: how you met, first date, first kiss, how long did you date? first picture together.....etc.
2. when you knew he was the one: self explanatory.. but how and when did you know?
3. proposal: how it happened, how long were you engaged for? was it a total surprise? pictures of that... etc.
4. the ring: tell us about it! did you pick it out? did he? pictures! tell us about his ring too!
5. engagement/bridal pictures: let's see em!
6. the colors: show some of the flower and colors you used
7. the dress: was it what you always imagined? did you have it made for you? white or ivory?
8. the little accessories: you know, veil? shoes? jewelry? what did your bridesmaids wear?
9. the reception: where was it at? show us some pictures! what day did you get married?
10. the cake/food: i love food. so tell me about what you had at your wedding!
11. favorite part of the day and least favorite part of the day: can be anything.
12. honeymoon: where did you go? was it good? ;) haha...jk.
13. thoughts on marriage: what is the easiest/hardest part? if you could change anything, what would it be?
14. first place that you lived together: pics if you have them!
15. kids: do you have any yet? if not, when do you plan on it? how many do you want? any tips on good/bad birth control?
16. most recent picture of you and your significant other and what you love most about them :) and any other thoughts.



By far the hardest thing about marriage has been money.  Which, if you reading anything about divorce rates you know that's the number one reason people get divorced.  It's not easy, especially when you have differing viewpoints on money.

The easiest?  Would it be a cop-out to say the good times?  I mean, it's hard to say that anything else would be easier.  The way I see it, marriage isn't supposed to be easy.  If it was then the divorce rate wouldn't be as high as it is.  It's work.  Relationships are work.  What makes it easier is getting through it with someone you love. 

Would I change anything?  Well, it would have been nice to not have been in a car accident the day before the wedding.  And sure, I could say I wish we suddenly had lots of money.  But honestly, I wouldn't.  The hard stuff is what makes a couple stronger.  And it makes you appreciate the good times that much more.

Absolutely no relationship is perfect.  Mine is far from it.  I spend a lot of time on a lot of different blogs and it's easy to read about people and their relationships and think, "Wow, they have it SO easy!  I wish I could be like them."  But after all the comments I received on Monday's post it's very easy to see that not a single person is in a perfect relationship.  At least not perfect in the sense that everything is puppy dogs and rainbows and sunshine.  Every single blogger in a relationship has hard times.  Maybe not everyone shows it - and that's perfectly fine.  I'll be the first to admit I like my "woe is me" posts to be few and far between because who wants to read that?  However, I'm being as real as I possibly can without it interfering with my relationship in hopes that someone else who is hurting can maybe see that everyone has hard times.  It's how a couple faces them that changes the outcome.

Wow.  This post became a little preachy.  Sorry about that.  Hopefully I sort of answered that question for you all.

Back to the regularly schedules puppy dogs, rainbows and sunshine tomorrow.


29 wonderful thoughts:

Vanisha @ Vanisha's Life In...Fiji

I love this picture because you can better see the detail on your dress :) You're absolutely right the hard times make you stronger. P and I had it terribly hard before we got married, that was the worst it's ever been and once we worked through that everything else has been a piece of cake! I'm sure something will pop up in the future but given what we've dealt with I think we'll be in a better position to effectively deal with anything else that comes along. If anything, we've learnt what doesn't work in problem solving! Wishing you and Dustin lots and lots of happiness xoxox

The Favour Shoppe

great post!! totally agree, it takes a lot of work to make your marriage/relationship work.

Helena - A Diary of Lovely

agree, bad moments for me are make or break and can really make a couple stronger

Cafe Fashionista

I think you're right about that, Krysten...the hard stuff is what makes a couple stronger. Marriage/romance is not supposed to come easy - it takes work, understanding, patience, and love. :)

SG to SP

I agree, I think money is the hardest part and trying to balance two peoples budgets/income/spending etc. It's hard work and compromise is key.

Teenage Bride

Every one's marriage is different.... but you have to do what works for you!

Audrey Allure

I agree, relationships definitely take work. And the hard stuff can also make you feel more connected.

Charlotte

I didn't think this post was preachy at all. Everything that you say here is so true. I once had a friend tell me that it's not how a couple makes it through the good times together, but how they weather the storms that determine what kind of couple they really are. Everyone wants rainbows and puppy dogs and kittens, but life is hard and full of challenges. I totally understand how money would be the #1 reason for the divorce rates; not having any puts a strain on relationships and when one person makes more than the other, it can create a power struggle.

(Florida) Girl

I really love that you can be honest about your marriage, and quite frankly, those are the blogs I want in my life--the truthful ones.

Great words. Keep your chin up.

gringationcancun

Great post :)

My relationship is definitely not perfect. I know I don't write about it, but the whole month of May we were going through some pretty tough times as a couple. I think we're coming out of it stronger, though. I'm sure you both will, too!

Layla

I'm in a woe is me kinda mood, so I needed this today. :)

Connie @ SogniESorrisi

My two cents is that anyone who tells you that their relationship is perfect or that they never fight with their SO is either lying, a complete doormat or delusional. JMO, of course.

I have a good husband, no doubt, but sometimes he drives me completely mental. But you work through it or try your best to. And when things are good its that much more of a reminder that even in dark times there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I wish you the best of luck xo

la petite coquine

I saw the topic for today's question and actually snorted at the irony-damn those money woes! I think it's wonderful that people feel safe enough here to be honest, and that's because of how open and truthful you are with all of us. Being a blogger can be awkward, and exposing yourself to all your favorite people who comment and lots more people who don't can be daunting, but I think telling it like it is helps you gain perspective and makes everyone else feel less weird. And isn't that a great gift?

xox, Lena

Erika

I always appreciate your honesty.

Cheers to being stronger through trials & tribulations :)

Andrea

that´s so sweet :)

Stephany

Ah, this might be one of my most favorite posts from you. You are totally right. Marriages are a LOT of work. And so many couples don't realize that. Not that I have any experience, being a single gal and all that. ;) But I love how honest you are for your readers and I do agree that all this money crap is just making you guys as a couple stronger.

Dancing Branflake

You know, I really have to say for me that the most fun part about marriage is just knowing you'll always love each other. Boring, I know, but so true.

Rebekah

I love this. Marriage isn't easy, but working on it is so worth it!

Savvy Gal

from what I have seen of married friends, every relationship will have its ups and downs. Maybe some issues are bigger and some smaller but it is important to try to communicate and work it out.

Meghan

Amen, girl! I couldn't agree more. EVERYONE experiences hard times, and some are more difficult than others. So it tends to drive me a little nuts when I see bloggers or ppl on Facebook that make all of these claims that life is perfect, life is so good, etc. So I guess what I am trying to say is that I appreciate the fact that you are so REAL! :)

Kristy

Another easy part of marriage - having someone to do the yucky jobs. My husband is one of those guys that does all the "man" jobs. I haven't had to wash my car in 14 years. That's living easy. :)

samnhal

It's so true, relationships are hard work. And it's such a bummer to watch someone decide that they don't want to work on theirs anymore. If you want to have a beautiful relationship, you have to put the work into it to make it beautiful. And that's not saying that just because you work at it, you won't have hard times, but it's nice that in those hard times you know you have a partner that you can lean on.

Amber Blue Bird

its true, the hard times are just going to make you two stronger.

Jessie Szmanda

I love to read posts like this. It is so true and from the heart. Justin and I have definitely had our rough times too. That is what marriage is. through the good ANNNDDD the bad!

Tяainwяeck Tяagedy

I love this post! My fiancé and I are going through a few money issues right now ourselves. And I can't imagine that it would get any easier once we get married. I commend you for being so open and honest and thanks for the wonderful advice. :)

Erika

i think people often have a wrong view of marriage. they think it'll be so good cuz they're in love but once the cute puppy sh$# on the carpet and the rainbow fades and the sunshine turns to rain, they're ready to give up.

marriage is hard.

my first year was THE hardest. the husband and i had complete opposite work schedules. I worked nights, he worked days. We would go through a few days a week where we would not see each other at all. But now at the end of year two, I look back and see that we made it! And we're stronger because of it. And I thank God.

xo erika @ rougeandwhimsy.blogspot.com

Jen

I am a little bummed to hear that the hardest part of being married is money because for me, the hardest part of being single (well, not married, I should say) is money!

Love the pic! Such a cute couple.

KimBerly

One of the many things that I love about your blog is that you are real. I like that you put your life out there. It's refreshing. Nothing bothers me more then people that act like they are perfect because they don't want anyone to know that truth.

Money always causes an issue with couples. I know that B and I fight about money sometimes because he has to work so hard to make it so I can stay home with Jake. At times I think he resents me. Of course he says that's not true but I do think that sometimes.

Day by day.

MartilaMi

WONDERFUL POST!!!!
HI!my name's martina and I come from Italy... I'd like you visit my blog and if you want... follow me! I wait you and your tips!
kisses
marti
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