Truth | Why Girls Are Weird

Monday, September 19, 2011

Truth

I want to thank you all for the comments, tweets, emails, Facebook messages, texts and more expressing your concern for my less than happy posts over the last few months.  I know a lot of you are wondering what exactly is going on with me.

I wish that what I had to say was easy.  And I've been agonizing over how to do it.  I hate admitting failure and right now I feel like I've failed.  And honestly, I don't want to be admitting any of this.  Some days I just want to close my eyes and pretend like nothing's wrong.  I've done such a good job at pretending up until now and I'm quickly feeling like everything I've known is falling apart.

The short of it is that Dustin and I are splitting up.

I don't want to go into the hows or the whys.  And yes, we both have tried to explore options that would keep us together.  I always said that I would work with everything I have to keep my marriage together.  The problem is that neither of us is happy and the things that will make us happy our not the things that we can give the other.

I'm not looking for sympathy.  And I truly hope no one plans on slamming me for this - believe me, not any of this has been easy and I do not want to take the easy way out.  However, it was time to say something.  And as hard as this words are to say I know I need to.  Because it's time to stop pretending.

All I ask is for your support, which you all have given me during some very hard times.  Right now I'm feeling... lost.  And that's a very scary place to be.

89 wonderful thoughts:

Carrie

Oh Krysten, I wish I could give you a big hug and hold your hand until you're in a better place. Just remember yourself, keep it real, and remember you're not alone.

hugs!

Holley

Sending you love and strength. Wish I could help you some way. if you need anything, let me know! <3

Kristina

Aw honey, I am so sorry that you have to go through such a difficult time. Sometimes things just suck and I'm sorry it is happening to you. You are not in this alone and so many of us care for you and wish you all the strength to get through it! You are all sorts of amazing and strong. I know you will be ok! Time heals! xoxo

Morgan

sending good juju your way.

Bree

Girl, I'm so sorry. I don't know how or why, but I kind of had a feeling that it was this (I hope this doesn't make me a terrible b*tch for thinking this). But, as you've said before, just know that everyone is here for you.
And if I could even put a teeny tiny smile on your face, just know that Mr. Reid comes back on TV next week. :) Did that help?
Stay strong, you'll get through it.

Discount Chica

You aren't the only one in this "club" (me included!). Good luck to you!

Syndal

aw honey..thinking of you! you will get through this!

Stephany

Hugs. You have my number. I may not fully understand what you're going through, but I'm a good listening ear. Love you.

Helena - A Diary of Lovely

so sorry Krysten, but everything happens for a reason, I'm sure its not making you feel better right now but maybe someday, sending you all my love xo

Jessie Szmanda

I support you, care for you, and will be praying for strength for you dear friend. {{{hugs}}}

SG to SP

I really am sorry to hear this and I can't imagine how hard this must be to go through. Just know we're all here for you anytime to talk or vent or whatever. Keep your chin up girly.

Mrs. Pancakes

This must be a very difficult time for you and to share it with us is very strong of you. My thoughts are with you during this time.

tara

oh girl. i'm so sorry to hear this! lots of love and hugs to you during this hard time! <3

Kelly

I'm so sorry to hear this sad news...praying for peace for you during this rough time.

Erika @ Rouge & Whimsy

:( I am so sorry my dear. Chin up and keep trucking. Prayers are going your way. xo

Natasha

Krysten, I am so sorry that you're going through this. I'm here if you need me.

Elisse

You have support from me by the millions!!! I can sense your hesitancy in posting this, but am so glad you chose to. There's no need for any more details - we got your back!

Let me know however I can help!

Chelsea Coleen

i just stumbled on your blog and the layout is absolutely darling, i look forward to reading more :)

ilene @ muchloveilly

praying for you, friend! let me know if you ever need to talk...a new book rec...or a text smile/hug. love you!

Dixie Bell Designs

Awww, I am so sorry you are going through this tough time. You must be feeling awful but try to remember that you are not alone and there a lot of people to support you. Times like these are awful but remember in the end it will help you get what YOU need and that is what is most important.

ErinMSW

Since I don't really know what to say... *hugs*

Rebekah

I really don't have any words other than I'm so sorry you're going through this. Praing for you!

Chic 'n Cheap Living

Wishing you the best and that happiness will be within your reach again soon (whichever road that may be!) Bigs hugs to you!

xoxo,
Chic 'n Cheap Living

Dancing Branflake

I am so sorry. You are so beautiful and lovely and absolutely deserving of the best. I know I have no words of adequate comfort but we'll always be here for you.

The Favour Shoppe

I am really sorry that you have to go through all this....{{{{HUGS}}}}

Erika

*Big hugs*
Support-you got it!
Thinkin' of you
XO

la petite coquine

Sending you all my love right now, and absolutely no judgement. I know you guys would never have decided to do this if it weren't the only option, and you're so brave for moving forward with your life and for being so honest here. I am proud to know you, and hope that I can help you in this new journey.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox, Lena

Amanda

I'm so sorry. There are just not the right words only lots of support.

The Non-Student

So many hugs to you.

Sandy a la Mode

awww i am so sorry to hear this girl. sending you the strength to heal and help you move on from this. let us know if you need anything, will be thinking about you~
xo

Smart Ass Sara

I am really sorry to hear this. I hope you know you are not a failure- sometimes things just don't work and it's going to be OK.

PS. I hope you get custody of Monte. ;)

hugs!

Elise Halladay

I have to echo everyone else... things happen and life changes. I am sorry to hear you are going through this rough time in your life. Just know that things will get better and you will not be lost for long. Sending love your way!

caley-jade rosenberg

I'm so sorry girl - sending you prayers and strength!
x

Dana

Sorry to hear this, Krysten. As cliche as it sounds...everything happens for a reason, whether you know what that reason is yet. You have a wonderful support group in person and through the virtual community. Your blog has been a great outlet for you. I hope to get to meet you soon and then I'll have a big hug for you!

Erin {pughs' news}

I'm so sorry, Krysten. I had a feeling {just something I could sense from the sadness and frustration of your posts}, and when you changed the name of your blog, I thought it must be this. Coming right out and saying that your marriage is over must be so hard, but you are so brave. And you deserve so much happiness.

Sending you my love and support. I hope you'll feel less lost very soon.
xoxo

daisychain

(((Krysten))

giaghani

*hugs*.

I think one of the hardest realizations is when love is still there but needs are not being met. It's a difficult transition but one that you will continue to do with grace. You will get through this and there is no shame in curling up in your bed with Adele (or artist of choice) blasting in the background as you cry.

Do what you need to do. Wishing you happiness, always. xo darling!

Elle Sees

It seems everyone is breaking up in the blog land and in my own life. Just know we are here and this happened for a reason. Feel free to email me and vent all ya want!

Linds

Thinking of you!

sweetcanadian

I had a feeling that this is what this post would say. When you had nothing going on for your birthday & did not mention him i got a bad feeling. I am sorry to hear that, i am sure there is no way around it for you but i wish it was not so. I hope you can both be happier now. Good luck

Chanel

Like all the others.. I wish you were not going through this period of hurt and sadness. I DO hope that you find your happiness after this. If I lived closer to you I would keep you out until the wee hours of the morning dancing your stress away. :) You aren't a failure. It's just all a part of your journey in life.

Claire

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.
I love you xx

Amanda

I'm so sorry hon. Why hasn't Google invented a way to send a hug over the internet? They should get on that.

~Jaime~

Keep your chin up, hon.

Kara

I'm so sorry to hear this. Hugs to you and I wish you all the strength in the world to get through this. <3

Mars

I'm sorry. I'm kind of going through something similar. I had to break off my engagement...again (same guy). He dropped something on me this weekend...2 days before we were supposed to take engagement pictures. It's crazy how life just changes in an instant. I kinda feel the "lost" you are feeling but it will get better with time. Just take lots of time for yourself and do what is best for you and makes you happy! xoxo

Jessica

Sending you lots of love girl. Hang in there. <3

Jessica

Sending you lots of love girl. Hang in there. <3

S and O

Hey there! Love your new blog design! It is sooo pretty :)
xoxo
Olivia

gringationcancun

So so sorry to hear this. I know I don't know you in person, but I really want the best for you. You're a strong person and I know you'll be just fine in the road ahead.

Don't feel like a failure. Marriage is incredibly hard.

Deidre

I am so sorry. Don't feel like you're a failure - relationships aren't a test!

Perhaps you can use this space a little to write about what you're feeling a bit? And it help you feel less scared. We're all here for you!

Amber Blue Bird

you have my support 100%. I know this could not have been an easy decision for either of you but you have to do what makes you happy. Life is too special to be unhappy.

Natalie

I am behind you 150%! I ended my engagement several years ago, and while it was the absolute hardest thing I have ever done, it also turned out to be the best decision I ever made. Both my ex-fiance and I are much better off (and happier) now--it was just really hard to see that at the time.

I hope everything turns out well (which I'm sure it will--you're so smart and lovely and wonderful!) and I am always here if you need to talk! :)

Oh my Dior!

I hate people who don't tell the truth!

http://www.ohmydior.org/

siovhan

I am so sorry dear. That is so hard; but I commend you on working so hard to do whatever you could to save your marriage. But I also understand that in the end you have to do whay you need to to keep your sanity and happiness. You're a brave mamacita. Love you.

Claire Kiefer

I'm sorry that you're dealing with this, Krysten. It must be so hard. Breakups are devastating, and I can imagine how much worse it is (harder) when it's a marriage. It's brave of you to write about it, and I hope you're surrounded by loving people who can distract you and make you feel better. XOXO.

The Beginner Housewife

This is my first time visiting and I have to say I AM SO SORRY. What a rough thing to be going through, however should you need any support just know that from here on out I'll be here to listen to any thing you post!!!

I just started blogging on Sunday too! Talk about learning all about new people.

The Blonde Duck

I'm so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug and some pie.

Poppy

Oh man Krysten, I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what you're feeling, but as the comments here show, you've got a lots of friends that are here for you to help you through this.
Sending you love and support from england. Oh, and a massive hug. x

Jess

Oh, honey! I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You are an incredible woman. I have always admired how honest you are. Sending you a big (virtual) hug.

sarah - dodeline design

I'm so sorry to hear this Krysten. Sending love, support & strength your way!

Shea

I'm so sorry Krysten. I know this is an incredibly difficult time, and please know you'll be in my prayers.

Vanisha @ Vanisha's Life In...Australia

Dearest Krysten, I am so very sorry. Maybe once you have sorted the things that need to be sorted out you can get away for some alone time. Come and visit me <3 In my thoughts.

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns

I am sorry to hear this - how heart breaking. I hope that putting it out there and saying that your marriage is over is a big healing step in the process... The not being able to share things is sort of a tough feeling as you can feel trapped. But with honestly comes freedom. Sending kind thoughts & hugs your way.

Kristin

I'm so sorry sweets. You are very brave to share this. My thoughts will be with you! Once upon a time I walked away from a relationship that was many years in length...Although, it was tough, it was definitely the right decision!

Bree

I'm sorry, girl. This is so sad, but I'm sure you'll get through this. I don't know you personally, but you sound like a tough girl. Wishing you all the happiness you deserve. <3

XoXo, Bree
http://vivalabreee.blogspot.com/
Tweet me: Viva_La_Breee

Connie

I'm so sorry to hear this, but I'm sure you are doing the right thing. Sending you lots of love, and hope you will get through even stronger on the other side!

Cafe Fashionista

I'm so sorry to hear about your split, Krysten. Please know that we are all here for support if you need it. Sending sparkly vibes your way!

P.S. You're the winner of the Pop Goes the Bauble Giveaway! :)

Steph

I haven't been blogging or commenting on blogs for a long time, but I read your post last night and wanted you to know that I'm very sorry to hear this heartbreaking bit of news. You are brave to have shared — I can't imagine how tough it might have been for you to make it more "real" by writing about what's been going on. You've got lots of support and good thoughts being thrown your way by all of us, even by strangers who've only gotten to know you by visiting your little corner of the internet. Stay strong, and keep smiling.

Ang

hugs for you girl! You know I'm here... and when we do girls dinner soon... you'll be getting lots of hugs! :) Chin up - you'll get through it, promise!

Selma @ Crazy Little World Of Mine

Sending you hugs as always. I know they won't fully express how I feel about this, but just know you are in my thoughts every day!!!

HUG!!!

Lauryn

*Hugs*

This must be so tough, especially not being able to openly discuss it for so long. We're here for you though, and as long as you're being honest with yourself then I'd say you're on the path to happiness! I'll be keeping you in my thoughts!

Vanessa

I'm so sorry you're going through this rough time! Sending lots of hugs and thoughts your way.

ag.

Krysten, my heart breaks for you. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through but I hope that we can all help you get through it. You are brave for making such a hard decision and putting your happiness first. Not everyone lives their life that way and being happy is such a big thing! And you're so brave for sharing your life with us in the way that you do. I wish you all the best in this next chapter in your life!!!

Summer Athena

i miss you.
i love you.
you are soooo brave and i think a trip to nyc is in order.

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO

I know this may not sound great, but I really do believe everything happens for a reason. Hang in there girl. You're doing your best!

ysd
This comment has been removed by the author.
steph anne

I'm so sorry to hear about this and most of all so sorry you have to go through this. I'm here for you if you ever need to talk. Hang in there, xoxoxo!

Holly

Oh Krysten, my heart goes out to you, dear! Please know that you're not alone in any of this, you have such a wonderful community of bloggy friends right here - & we all love & support anything you do :)

Melina

I'm so terribly sorry to hear this and I'm sending all my love your way! It takes such incredible strength to be open about tough things like this, especially in this world of blogging where people tend to gloss over the less than fabulous things. Know that even while you're feeling lost, you've got lots of people here who support you!!

xx Melina

Mimi

i am so sorry to hear this, krysten. but i admire you for having the courage to share this with us. and being strong enough to admit that you are no longer happy shows that you most certainly did not fail. i am wishing you all the best!

<3, Mimi

Charlotte

Oh, girl. I'm so very sorry to hear this. I really am. But I am proud of you for being open and honest with yourself first and foremost... and for waiting until the time was right to announce to us what was happening in your life. I wish you much peace in the road ahead and I'm here whenever you feel you need someone to vent to (sometimes I feel I have more experience with breakups than I do with actual relationships). Thinking of you and I know you are strong enough to get through this.

XOXO

Kristi

I am so sorry to hear your sad news but it sounds like you really thought this through and are making the best decision for you both. Big hugs to you, I can imagine this is very very hard...

missy.

well done lady, i'm proud of you for posting this. love you.

Stevie

Oh Krysten, I'm so sorry you're going through this. But you're such a strong woman, I know you'll get through. I wish you all the happiness in the world.

samnhal

Wow Kysten, that is a really hard situation to be going through, and even harder to post about to to everyone who reads your blog. That takes a lot of courage, and I honor you for that. You're amazing, and things have a way of working out, and sometimes working out means splitting up, but I have faith that you're going to do amazing things. I feel like I've missed out on so much these few months of almost internet-less training. I hope that as I move to permanent site I can keep up more with my blogger friends!

kallaydoscope.com

While I'm terribly sorry you have to be going through such a rough time, I know the liberty and freedom that comes from leaving a marriage gone awry. You *should* be excited about what's to come for you. There is life after divorce, and true love, and so many other wonderful opportunities. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you!

Leesh

I am so sorry to hear that you and Dustin are splitting up. I also want to apologize for the delay in my comment. I have just been swamped to comment but I did see this post of yours and you have been on my mind since I read it. It's sad to hear of a marriage dissolving but if both sides are unhappy, I believe it's best to go your own way. It's not fair to either of you to settle and live unhappy lives. It's all for the best but yet it's such terrible news. All your readers are here for you and I admire your strength to walk away instead of settling and also to share such personal news with all of us. You are in my thoughts and I'm here for you if you need me.

Jessica

I just wanted you to know that I am a newer reader, but having just gone through my own divorce a year and a half ago, I can relate to what you are going through. I promise you, it will get better. Good thoughts going out to you!