Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Last Time I Was Someone's Girlfriend

{via}


The last time I was someone's girlfriend, I was a very different person. I've always been the type of girlfriend to want to be joined at the hip with whoever I was dating. It wasn't because I was jealous or needy, just because I always felt like a boyfriend and girlfriend should want to spend all their time together.

The last time I was someone's girlfriend, I'd had relationships that were always relatively dramatic. I'm kind of a drama queen and something in me always wanted to have dramatic relationships. Maybe it's because I read too many books or watch too much TV but to me I always thought that a good relationship had a certain amount of drama.

The last time I was someone's girlfriend, I let things slide in order to keep the relationship. Obviously no relationship is perfect but I allowed things to happen that should have been warning signals. I kept the relationship because I didn't want to lose the person I was with, because I was scared of the pain of breaking up, being alone and starting over.

Boyfriend will be moving out here in a month. Sure, we're already in a relationship now but something about him being so close makes our relationship feel more cemented. Because of this, it got me to thinking about the kind of girlfriend I am. About how I act when I'm in a relationship.

Obviously, I want to be able to spend more time with him, I  want our relationship to become strong and grow and I want to figure out how to compromise and love and have a good, mature, loving relationship. However, this time around I don't want to make the same moves that I did when I was younger.

Even though I can't wait to spend more time together, I've learned to really value my time alone. I'm finding that it's necessary to have time to yourself and I want to make sure that even though my instinct tells me I want to be around him all the time I also need to spend time with myself too.

I feel like I've grown up a lot and I think that I've realized that there doesn't need to be drama to have a good relationship. In fact, it's better when there isn't drama. I'm fairly positive that I have a good handle on that one but every now and again my inner drama queen does try to make a comeback. I need to make sure to tell her to go away if she appears.

Most importantly, this time around I'm not going to let things slide. My relationship with boyfriend is good, solid, but I am never again going to be the kind of woman to let things slide because of my fear of being alone.

The last time I was someone's girlfriend, I didn't know what I do now. This time around I plan on doing it right.


P.S. Don't forget to enter my 1,000th post giveaway!

27 wonderful thoughts:

Helena - A Diary of Lovely

Best of luck lovely lady! Wishing you all the happiness of the world!

Erika

I LOVE that quote! Here's to finding new love! :)

Rachael

You sound so happy right now girlie - I love it! Best of luck with your new guy, your totally going into this in the right mind!

Ang

well said! Best of luck to you and him - from what I've seen, you two seem very compatible, I hope that sticks!

Dancing Branflake

Love your perspective on this. Sounds like you've learned a lifetime of wisdom from your last experience as a girlfriend. Love that about you!

The Non-Student

I believe knowing who we are, especially knowing our strengths and weaknesses, is one of the most critical parts of being a good partner. Happy for you!

Morgan

so happy for you!
once you know what you want, it's so much easier :)

dodeline

It's definitely hard to take a look at yourself and know what you do right and what you do wrong. Good for you for being able to step back and see that! Excited that things are going well for you.

PS haven't been commenting because I couldn't use Name/URL anymore ;-) When you use Google Apps it makes it difficult but they finally switched it so I can use it to comment, woohoo! So I'm back!

Christine Macdonald

Sending you hugs and best wishes!

Life has a funny way of working itself out in-between the pesky lessons. xo

Sandy a la Mode

aww glad to hear things with boyfriend are great! wishing you all the luck!

Claire

definately need alone time. Sometimes when hubs wants to go to a pub and/or see a band, i just stay home and relish the fact that i have the trash TV/blogs/chocolate to myself.

Dana

Being away from each other can be just as healthy as being with each other. I think relationships need a good balance of independent life as well as together life. It's when you are defined by your relationship because don't have much of anything else going on that I think spells trouble. But also know it's common and natural to want to spend a lot of time with a partner when the relationship is new. That's what everyone does and hopefully your friends recognize this and give you a pass. Either way, sounds like you are happy!!

Amber

drama free is the way to go. I couldnt imagine dealing with drama craziness. I want my relationship to be as stress free as possible.

Jax

I was the complete opposite. I only wanted to spend limited time w/ my b/f. It pushed him away!

Mrs C ♥

Great post girl! It's important to recognize that the hard times in life are trials that we should learn from so that we don't make the same mistakes twice. Good luck with the relationship..just be yourself! :o)

So I've been a follower for a while but for some reason your posts never showed up in my Blogger dashboard. I just got on bloglovin though so I'll be seeing your posts through there.

Also, I was reading your 200 things about me (in your About Me section) & I was amazed - I had a breast reduction when I was 19 too! And I would TOTALLY do it again in a heartbeat! There aren't many of us out there so I guess I just wanted to say..solidarity sister! :o) Have a great day!

Deidre

This is such a good point! I think it takes relationships and time along to figure out how to be in a good healthy relationship!! :)

Nicole

Love the last one because I can relate so much. This time everything is different.

Lena at A Crimson Kiss

What an exciting next step for you guys! I think it's so important to be aware of your behavior, and the reasons for it–it can change so much about your relationship!

Caren Richardson

Such a great post! And such a exciting new step for you in this relationship! <3

Vanisha @ Vanishas Life In...Australia

Your strength, courage and determination never ceases to amaze me. Good on you Krysten. You deserve so much happiness but realizing that you/we have a role to play in that, makes it soo much easier to achieve.

Greta

A man who loves you will keep letting you have your 'alone time.' Relationships seem to work best when you both keep your separate sense of identity. Excited for you! :)

Kristin

I think it's awesome that you're so clear on what you now want and need!

Elle Sees

You do sound so happy and content

Charlotte

I love this. The quote in the beginning sums it all up so nicely. And I also think you are in such a mature, good place right now with your boyfriend... that everything else in your past kind of led you to this place.

Tiera Kawaiola

Good for you! I made more than a few mistakes the last time I was someone's girlfriend, for the sake of trying to keep the failing relationship together. I vow not to make the same mistakes the next time around.

Mrs. Pancakes

im sure everything will go out splendidly!

Laura in Cancun

Wow just 1 more month! Exciting :)

Jorge and I have very little drama. It's such a relief to just not worry about that stuff.