Marriage | Why Girls Are Weird

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Marriage

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A couple of weeks ago at work, one of my coworkers asked me a question that's been in my mind a lot.

Do you think you'll ever want to get married again?

I didn't even hesitate when I said yes, of course I want to get married again!

I keep trying to figure out how exactly to explain how I feel. Some have said to me, "Well, you must have just made a mistake, you married the wrong guy." But that isn't true. At the time, Dustin was what I wanted. Things weren't perfect. At the time, though, we were both going in the same direction. We both wanted the same things. I loved him and he loved me. I thought that was enough.

I'm not going to air dirty laundry. I won't say what happened to change things. I will say Dustin hurt me. And I'll say that I realized that at some point we stopped heading in the same direction. I tried to pretend everything was okay. At some point, though, you just need to cut your losses. Did I want to be stuck with just okay for the rest of my life? No.

Does that mean, though, that my first marriage has ruined marriage as a whole for me? Of course not! Sometimes things just don't work out the way that you think they're going to but that doesn't mean that you should just give up altogether.

I think this quote kind of sums up how I feel:

"There are people we treat wrong, and later, we're prepared to treat other people right.
Perhaps this sounds mercenary, but I feel grateful for these trial relationships,
and I would like to think it all evens out -
surely, unknowingly, I have served as practice for other people."
~Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld 

I learned lessons from Dustin. And I hope he learned from me as well. Although some of those lessons really hurt, they didn't crush my dreams.

I've picked myself up. And maybe one day practice will make perfect. 


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31 wonderful thoughts:

Helena - A Diary of Lovely

of course you should get married again, you are so young and have a great future ahead of you!

Scientific Housewife

You are absolutely right that all you can do is learn from this and look forward to the future. You are truly inspirational!

Erika

I LOVE that quote, Krysten. And I think it's wonderful that you view your time with Dustin as a learning experience, and haven't allowed it to ruin your view on love. :)

Rachael

Great quote! And just because it didn't turn out right once, doesn't mean it never will again!

Ang

Well said - I'm glad you haven't given up based on one bad outcome. Can't wait to attend your next wedding... this summer? ;)

Jen

I'm glad you're keeping your heart open to marriage because you're too sweet and young to give up on it! :)

Kathy

it takes a lot of courage to cut your losses, realize that life is too short to live without happiness and move on... even if that means finding happiness with someone else.

Marina

I love your spirit! Everyone should think the same! You were really brave person and with your every word you prove that you're still very brave!

Andi of My Beautiful Adventures

Never say never, right? :)

SG to SP

Just because the first one didn't work out doesn't mean the second one won't. You learn from your mistakes and I suspect it will help make your next marriage even stronger.

Charlotte

That is a great quote, Krysten. And I'm so very happy you haven't given up on love and marriage. I think you're absolutely right. All relationships in life teach us extremely valuable lessons and it's important we learn from them. You always have such a beautiful, positive outlook on life and love. It's something to admire :)

memory

I think that it's great you are learning from your past experiences. :) I hope I can only do that too.

SoUtHeRnPiNkY.bLoGsPoT.cOm

Morgan

if definitely will :)
you are so positive and levelheaded about the whole thing.
it's quite inspiring

amy b.s.

it's nice you still have such an open mind about relationships and love. some people can become so bitter when things don't work out as planned, but i agree that sometimes, it's just not meant to be forever. but that doesn't mean it wasn't meant to be for a little while.

Dancing Branflake

It just amazes me what a great attitude you've had throughout. You really are ten times more mature than I would ever be. I would be kicking and screaming but you're so much classier than I. Love that.

Laura

lovely post! and the quote is great:) x

The Non-Student

Just smiles from your fantastic attitude. :-)

Amber

you have such a positive way of looking at things. I hope some of that rubs off on me.

Stephany

I'm happy to see your divorce hasn't "ruined" love for you. You have such a mature attitude about it. It's very nice to see!

Thanks for being so open and honest. <3

Dana

I totally believe in that quote! I say something very similar to that same quote when I discuss the relationships I've had.

Deidre

I think this is a fantastic attitude! :)

E

I love that you are able to look forward to what might be instead of just focusing on the pain of the past! We can definitely learn from those and go on to be better people, if we allow ourselves.

Lena at A Crimson Kiss

"Surely, unknowingly, I have served as practice for other people"–what a beautiful line. This is such an inspiring, joyful post, and I couldn't be happier that you're looking to the future with joy!

Nicole

I love this attitude! & I noticed it too! I remember all your positive comments on my wedding and such & unfortunately some bloggers who were going through stuff when I got engaged weren't to nice! SO I knew you weren't giving up on marriage & you're a sweetheart =D

Impulsive Addict

I love your positive attitude! I've been hurt by a boyfriend that I THOUGHT I was going to marry. Just when I thought that I was at my lowest, my future husband came into the picture and the rest is history.

Vanisha @ Vanishas Life In...Australia

I love your positive attitude. And learning is such an important thing. So is growth. I'm so proud of you and so happy for you.

Chanel

I want to hug you through the screen for this awesome writing! Learning from life is just as important as living it. xoxo

iris

Dude, I hope practice makes perfect because I don't want to be making the same mistakes as I did with my ex-boyfriends. That'd be a serious problem.

Mrs. Pancakes

Glad you still believe in marriage and love!! And that the transition from your first marriage was a growing experience!

Natasha Hollerup

Happy 1,000th blog post. Here's to thousands of more happy posts. I love you.

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO

I think you gave her a wonderful answer!