A couple of weeks ago at work, one of my coworkers asked me a question that's been in my mind a lot.
Do you think you'll ever want to get married again?
I didn't even hesitate when I said yes, of course I want to get married again!
I keep trying to figure out how exactly to explain how I feel. Some have said to me, "Well, you must have just made a mistake, you married the wrong guy." But that isn't true. At the time, Dustin was what I wanted. Things weren't perfect. At the time, though, we were both going in the same direction. We both wanted the same things. I loved him and he loved me. I thought that was enough.
I'm not going to air dirty laundry. I won't say what happened to change things. I will say Dustin hurt me. And I'll say that I realized that at some point we stopped heading in the same direction. I tried to pretend everything was okay. At some point, though, you just need to cut your losses. Did I want to be stuck with just okay for the rest of my life? No.
Does that mean, though, that my first marriage has ruined marriage as a whole for me? Of course not! Sometimes things just don't work out the way that you think they're going to but that doesn't mean that you should just give up altogether.
I think this quote kind of sums up how I feel:
"There are people we treat wrong, and later, we're prepared to treat other people right.
Perhaps this sounds mercenary, but I feel grateful for these trial relationships,
and I would like to think it all evens out -
surely, unknowingly, I have served as practice for other people."
~Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld
I learned lessons from Dustin. And I hope he learned from me as well. Although some of those lessons really hurt, they didn't crush my dreams.
I've picked myself up. And maybe one day practice will make perfect.
P.S. I'm hosting a Scentsy giveaway! Check it out here, you know you want to!